Well, You See
by YumKiwiDelicious
Summary: prompt "What if Harry were reading Fifty shades of Grey and Eggsy finds out and makes fun of him and Harry tells him its not a chick book."


It had started off as an innocent enough inquiry. When the day was winding down and Galahad and Arthur had resigned to simply being Eggsy and Harry, the younger of the two often prompted his partner with questions. _How was your day? Any promising new recruits? Have you gotten word from Roxy in Sweden? _So when he had stepped into their now shared home and caught the gentleman's eyes moving slowly over his iPad in a focused way that could only be attributed to leisurely reading, the question had fallen naturally from his lips.

"Whatcha readin'?"

If the way Harry had started, looking sincerely like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar hadn't hinted that something was off, his immediate powering down of the device and storage of it between the couch cushions would have done it. Eggsy squinted at him.

"Nothing of import," he insisted, removing his actual prescription glasses, "How was your day?"

After that it became a little more obvious any time it was brought to attention, that Harry was reading something he didn't want Eggsy to know about. Usually when the young man entered a room where his mentor already sat engrossed in a book or mission files, he didn't blink twice to have the newest Kingsman come and curl up near his side, sometimes reading over his shoulder, sometimes tapping away on his own iPad, usually snap chatting Lancelot. Now however, Eggsy didn't even need to be heading in his direction for Harry to immediately power down his iPad, putting it out of sight before Eggsy had even taken a seat. It was curious behavior and Eggsy mentioned as such but Harry always came back with a reasonable rebuttal on his lips and if one could not be found he used those lips to distract Eggsy in other ways.

But no secret can be kept forever, especially among spies. The new Galahad had spoken briefly about the new Arthur's curious behavior with the new Lancelot. Roxy had quickly taken her superior's side, saying it was no business of Eggsy's what Harry was doing on his Ipad. _Why don't you focus on the mission instead of your boyfriend?_

Lancelot had been no help and so Eggsy had turned to Merlin. He had proven curious, but in the end equally as unaccommodating as Roxy. No one seemed to care that Harry was getting stranger and stranger, now going so far as to cleverly never leave his iPad alone with anyone.

Eggsy was starting to get worried this may be something serious. _Is something the matter? Is there trouble? Is there...someone else?_ The last question had earned him such a harsh and disappointed speech from his mentor that he'd banished himself to the couch for the night, no body heat there to warm him the way he liked except for that of JB. At least the pug was always on his side.

When he could take it no more he decided to start really putting his secret intelligence skills to good use. After all, no one but perhaps Merlin knew Harry as well as he did and he was going to start using all he knew to his advantage. It wasn't very hard at all really. Harry Hart was a creature of habit and routine. Eggsy himself had teased him about this fact when they were first starting out but soon found that his unshakable dependability was something he needed in his life. It was almost a shame now he would have to use it as Harry's handicap.

Because you see, Harry Hart had a secret vice. A small pleasure he liked to indulge in for a short time every day just to keep the motor running smoothly. He napped. In the dining. Every day for fifteen minutes, sat up in his chair at the head of the table like a statue. He did not particularly like this bit of his routine, saying it made him feel old, but he was a slave to it none the less. He had chosen a time of the day when the agents were all either already out on assignment or had been sent home. The shop was closed for the tailor's short lunch break and so there was nothing to disturb him. And there he would nod off peacefully, stacks of papers and iPad sat in front of him, ready for when he woke up.

This is when, two weeks after the initial question, Eggsy made his move. Since every member of Kingsman from agents to accountants was given a key to their front tailor shop, it was easy for him to get in once Andrew had stepped out for his lunch. Creeping between the rows of posh ties and suit material, he stepped back into the concealed dining room, having to bite back a laugh when he spotted Harry. He was used to seeing the man either up and alert or curled blissfully in bed, dead to the world. This strange combination of the two was a bit funny.

But his iPad was sat there, perfectly unguarded and he snatched it up. He had removed his Oxfords at the, knowing Harry was turn over in his sleep to see his padding around in his socks outside the hose, but also knowing the man would rouse at the slightest noise. It was just easier to sneak up and knick the device without shoes on so that's what he did.

Tapping in Harry's password (MR. PICKLES, honestly how could Merlin not guess that?) he was greeted with the screen saver and had to bite back a snicker. He had taken the picture and set it as the background knowing the older man wouldn't know how to undo what he had done. It was Eggsy. More specifically it was Eggsy wide awake and smiling widely, leaning over Harry who was fast asleep in their bed. The mission he'd come home from had been a particularly tiring one and so he had broken routine and fallen asleep shamefully early, sun still up and everything, and Eggsy had taken advantage.

Putting aside his near crippling curiosity, Eggsy decided now was as good a time as any to replace the screen saver. It was a few months old anyway. Opening the camera app and remembering to shut the shutter volume off, Eggsy leaned in close to his lover, choosing this time to sport an exaggerated pout, Harry's dozing form just visible over his shoulder. He changed the background quickly enough, moving the older one to be the lock screen background and then returned focus to the mission at hand. Time was neither on nor against his side.

Pulling up all Harry's currently open apps, he scrolled through them suspiciously, squinting as he paced slowly up and down the length of the table. Most of the things open were feeds from agents glasses or reports from finished missions. One window was a detailed recipe on ceviche and Eggsy flinched as his stomach growled loudly, imagining dinner tonight. Harry didn't stir, still breathing heavily. The last app open was Harry's Kindle reader and he clicked on that one at a loss on what he was looking for.

The book cover popped up momentarily before making a show of the last page Harry had been on, but Eggsy quickly flipped back, frantically trying to get another glimpse of the cover. When he reached it, his questions were finally answered and he burst out laughing, no longer caring that Harry started, reaching for the gun that as Arthur he no longer kept holstered beneath his suit jacket. Blinking owlishly at Eggsy dissolved in hysterics, he quickly vacated when he saw his iPad in the young man's hand.

"Y-You," Eggsy choked, his side hurting as he tried to control his laughter, "Y-you're reading _50 Shades of Grey_!?"

Harry Hart did not usually get flustered or embarrassed, but now, still sleep rumbled and with his young lover cackling uncontrollably before him, he stammered over his words, posh accent sounding decidedly less so. "W-well you see-"

"Mate," Eggsy cut across him, just barely beginning to calm down, only to start up again as he looked down at the iPad screen. "Tha'sa _chick_ book!"

"It most certainly is not. A book that appealed strictly to one sex could not have reach a level of global popularity as this one has." Harry said, sounding indignant now as he reached forward and snatched the device back, flicking the book off screen. "And I'll thank you to not go snooping through my personal affects from now on."

"Oh come on, Harry," Eggsy wheezed, amused but not wanting Harry to be honestly angry at him, "Even you gotta admit, s'pretty funny!"

"I fail to see the humor," the newest Arthur huffed, guiding his agent out of the dining room by the arm, rolling his eyes as the young man continued to shake with laughter. "I suggest you head down to headquarters and offer Merlin a hand with the new recruits." He deposited Eggsy outside in the main shop room with a brief nod to Andrew who had just returned before shutting the door soundly again.

"Harryyyy," Eggsy whined, voice petulant as he crossed his arms. The only reply was a frustrated groan from beyond the door and a shout.

"And stop changing my bloody background!"


End file.
